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Did deion sanders’ son get picked? The absurd truth behind draft day ducks, dad jokes & a coach’s existential crisis!

1. “Did Deion Sanders’ Son Get Picked?” – The Question That Broke the Internet (and Your Aunt’s Group Chat)

When Google Trends Met Group Chat Chaos

Let’s set the scene: The NFL Draft rolls around, and suddenly everyone becomes a football scout with *strong opinions* about Shilo Sanders’ draft prospects. Twitter (sorry, “X”) combusted into a wildfire of takes hotter than a stadium nacho cheese pump. Memes of Deion Sanders wearing a “Proud Dad” hat while juggling footballs and endorsement deals flooded timelines. Meanwhile, your aunt’s group chat—usually reserved for questionable minion GIFs and “good morning” blessings—morphed into a chaotic debate club. “Did he get picked???” texts buzzed between photos of Cousin Linda’s new succulents and Uncle Frank’s conspiracy theory about the “draft being rigged by Big Football.”

The Internet’s Meltdown, Ranked by Absurdity

  • Level 1: Rational humans checking ESPN updates.
  • Level 5: TikTokers stitching videos of Shilo’s college highlights with audio of Deion yelling “PRIME TIME” on loop.
  • Level 10: Your cousin’s friend’s neighbor claiming they “called it” because they once high-fived Shilo at a gas station in 2019.

And yes, for the record, Shilo Sanders *did* land with the Buffalo Bills as an undrafted free agent—a fact that somehow sparked more chaos. Cue the hot takes: “Undrafted? Blasphemy!” vs. “This is all part of Deion’s 8D chess plan to sell more Colorado merch.” The discourse got so intense, even Wikipedia briefly listed the draft as “a collaborative performance art piece.” Meanwhile, your aunt’s chat? Still arguing about whether Shilo should’ve gone pro in baseball instead. *Never change, Aunt Karen.*

2. The Great Draft Conspiracy: Why Your Google Search History is 80% “Did Deion Sanders’ Son Get Picked???”

You, Your Phone, and the 3 AM Panic Search for Shedeur Updates

Let’s face it: your Google search history looks like a fever dream scripted by a football-obsessed raccoon. “Did Deion Sanders’ son get picked?” sits between “Can dogs sense sarcasm?” and “Why is my cactus judging me?”—a trio of modern existential crises. But why the *collective* fixation on Shedeur Sanders’ draft status? Rumor has it the NFL draft secretly moonlights as a reality TV show, and we’re all unwitting extras. Algorithms, bored deities, and that one guy who keeps livestreaming mock drafts from his basement? They’re *all* in on it.

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The Suspects Behind the Shedeurpocalypse

  • Deion’s Hat Collection: Each flashy draft-day hat is a hypnosis trigger. You clicked “search” because the teal Jaguars lid told you to.
  • Your Group Chat: 27 unread messages. Two are about dinner plans. The rest? ”BRO DID HE GO YET” with increasingly erratic emojis.
  • The Google Suggest Bar: Type “Did” and it autocompletes to “Deion Sanders’ son” before you can ask “Did I leave the oven on?” (You did. Sorry.)

Meanwhile, Shedeur’s actual draft outcome matters less than the fact that we’ve turned it into a national game of Mad Libs. The internet demands content. You demand answers. The cactus? Still judging. This isn’t sports news—it’s a participatory art project where we’re all frantically Googling the same thing to see if reality glitches.

3. Future Headlines We’re Manifesting: “Shedeur Sanders Drafted by NASA to Throw Footballs on Mars”

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Picture this: NASA’s latest press conference isn’t about rocket fuel or rovers. Instead, it’s a livestream of Shedeur Sanders casually tossing a football through a floating asteroid belt. Why? Because interplanetary sports science has officially gone next-level. Rumor has it NASA engineers grew tired of the Mars Rover’s “cautious 0.0001 mph vibe” and decided what the Red Planet really needs is a 70-yard spiral to kickstart humanity’s first alien tailgate. Shedeur’s arm strength? Now classified as a “natural resource.”

The Playbook: Mars’s First 4th-and-Lightyear

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According to leaked mission plans (source: a very serious TikTok), the agency’s plan involves:

  • Gravity calculations based on how far a football sails when thrown in 38% Earth gravity (spoiler: “infinity, probably”).
  • Replacing rocket thrusters with pigskin propulsion. “Efficiency” is just a fancy word for “watch this.”
  • Alien-defense strategy: If Mars has life, it’s definitely here to intercept passes. Shedeur’s job? Throw it where the methane-breathing linebackers ain’t.

Training Camp: Houston, We Have a Dime Piece

Preparations are already underway. Shedeur’s been spotted practicing in a NASA-issue spacesuit modified with shoulder rockets and a visor that displays real-time wind resistance stats (on Mars, “wind” is just a fancy term for “mild apocalypse”). Critics argue footballs can’t survive atmospheric entry, but engineers insist “parachutes are for quitters” and that a perfectly thrown spiral “defies physics anyway.” Meanwhile, Colorado’s equipment staff is knitting a helmet that doubles as a satellite dish. Priorities.

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